![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neversoughtI have nightmares.
I don't always know if they're from my memories or his.
There's not much of a difference between them sometimes.
I don't always know if they're from my memories or his.
There's not much of a difference between them sometimes.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-08-27 01:49 am (UTC)It sounds like yours are really awful and I know mine aren't as bad as yours, but I just thought...
Mine hurt, sometimes for days and days.
So, so you're not the only one. Okay? Don't feel like you're the only one.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-27 02:47 am (UTC)It helps to be reminded.
Thank you.
I'm sorry your nightmares hurt so much.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-27 02:51 am (UTC)Oh, it's okay. I mean, I'm sure plenty of people have much much worse nightmares than me, and they're really not even all that bad, they just make me kind of lonely is all. Don't you worry about me. :)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-27 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-27 03:14 am (UTC)[locked]
Date: 2011-08-27 08:34 pm (UTC)I'd hoped being here... might've changed that, at the very least.
[She knows better now, of course, the horcrux, everything, but from where she'd last been--she'd thought. And now everyone can see, and she knows how much he hates that, and she hates it for him.]
[locked]
Date: 2011-08-27 09:29 pm (UTC)He isn't here. I can't be connected to him still across all the universes, right?
A lot of the time its pieces. Mine mix in with his.
[locked]
Date: 2011-08-28 03:06 am (UTC)With that piece still inside of you... it might be triggering some of them, there isn't any way for us to tell.
Are you all right?
[locked]
Date: 2011-08-28 03:25 am (UTC)I've worried about that. I've worried a lot about what that's doing inside of me and what it might do to other people too. Sometimes when I'm angry, I wonder if it's really all entirely mine or more spurned on by that thing.
Yeah, I think.
[locked]
Date: 2011-08-28 03:53 am (UTC)Something to help us.
[more pausing :c]
Would you like to take a walk with me? It's probably too late, isn't it?
[locked]
Date: 2011-08-28 04:14 am (UTC)I don't want you to obsess over it, Hermione. Especially if there isn't a way. I don't want you to stress over it. I've been living with it all my life, and I can live with it more.
I just don't want to hurt
I don't want what's inside of me to hurt anyone else.
Sometimes the screams I hear are yours
but I know whose memory that one is
[:c :c
more pause here.]
You don't have to
I should probably be al
Yeah, I'd like that. I don't think it's too late. Chicago's dangerous night or day. We wouldn't have to go far. We could just walk up to the roof.
[locked]
Date: 2011-08-28 05:17 am (UTC)It's not an obsession, Harry. [She is pursing her lips rn :|]
It's called determination. I am rather determined to see this through. I'm absolutely sure you feel the same way.
It won't come to that, Harry.
We'll find a way together before it hurts you or anyone else.
[all the :c]
That's a wonderful idea.
[it'd be like the meteor shower night only sans meteor obvs]
I'll be there in a bit, all right?
[locked]
Date: 2011-08-28 05:40 am (UTC)I am. I'm determined but not if it costs you time you could be sleeping or eating or something like that. Especially if there isn't anything that can be done.
How can you be so certain?All right. We will.
[:c x infinity.]
Okay. I'll head up there right now. Could use the fresh air.
[locked]
Date: 2011-08-28 06:12 am (UTC)he would do it for her.
so
there. :|]
[actiony]
Date: 2011-08-28 05:43 am (UTC)Harry does in fact end up on the roof of the Kashtta again shortly after he's spoken with Hermione. He brings Hedwig with him. She's been cooped up, and it isn't long until she takes flight though even she can tell something's off with him tonight.
"It's alright, Hedwig," he says, sliding the back of his hand down the owl's feathers gently. As he has time and time again. "I'll be fine."
Certainly nothing she can help with, and it's comforting in a sense to watch Hedwig fly off. It's a familiar sight in a city that has finally become more familiar to him.
[actiony]
Date: 2011-08-28 06:16 am (UTC)Hermione has been much more precautious when it comes to Crookshanks. With that odious cat of Trewlaney's, and with how smashingly they get along (irony), she decides to leave Crookshanks sleeping soundly in the room while she makes her way up to the roof.
Harry is already there, and something about his stance makes her shoulders droop. He always does have that look about him, as if there's so much weight on his own shoulders. That scarcely changes whether they're here or they're back home. That doesn't surprise her, but it does worry her to see.
"It's a warm night," she says softly in greeting, closing the door behind her and making her way over to him.
[all the action]
Date: 2011-08-28 07:05 am (UTC)Harry does always have that look about him. It is probably a bit ridiculous that he has it here when there isn't that destiny. The problem is he's still attached to it in a sense, still walking down that forest path.
The boy who lived come to die.
Not that he ever heard those words. Harry turns to look at her when he hears her speak, and she doesn't have to say it for him to know that she's worried. He knew from her response to the journal entry alone. It's why he wish he didn't write it. It doesn't change anything.
"Yeah, it is. Maybe one of the last ones we'll have with summer coming to a close. Thought Hedwig might enjoy flying in it," Harry says as he looks out over the city. "I wish I wouldn't have written that. It could have been worse what I'd written, but... I don't know."
[action forever and beyond~~~~]
Date: 2011-08-28 07:44 am (UTC)Whether he has that small piece of Voldemort inside of him or not, Harry would carry it with him. It has been what defines him for as long as he has lived, and there was so much that remained unresolved once he found himself here.
Hermione doesn't want it haunting him forever. She continues to walk until she makes her way over to him. She leans against the railing, but her back is to the view of the city. She is looking at him instead, arms folded across his chest. "Won't be long until there's snow once more," she says, glancing upward at the sky instead.
She sighs soundlessly once her gaze drops back to him.
"It's a violation of one's privacy regardless. I hate it. I can only hope it's quite finished with forcing most everyone to reveal their inner thoughts."
[to infinity AND BEYOND :x]
Date: 2011-08-28 08:44 am (UTC)He knows that even without the horcrux, he will still have at least the occasional nightmare. Even if there wasn't that last walk to complete, he would still have everything that he has been through to carry with him.
It happens to everyone. Every person walks a road that is broken
as Lucky Spencer has said, it's led them to this place. Sometimes the road is so broken that parts of you are broken as well or you pick up heavy rocks that you've got to carry along the way.Harry bumps against her a bit. It's more of his way of saying Hi. Thanks for coming up with me. without actually saying the words at all. "Yeah, it'll be winter again. You'll have been here for a year in December if..."
If nothing at all happens to change that.
"It is. I hate it as well, and it's been about a week, I think. You'd hope that it'd be finished in that amount of time," he says heavily, adjusting his glasses. "And hopefully, it never does anything like it again, but this is Chicago. The Rift."
no subject
Date: 2011-08-29 12:45 am (UTC)Much between them remains unspoken at times, and it has never felt necessary to put it to words, even something as seemingly unimportant as a greeting. If she hadn't come up to the roof, she would've been fretting over him in her own room.
It isn't something she can help, whether he likes it or not. Hermione has a mothering nature of sorts, and she is a worrier at heart, for all the things she cannot help and those that she can. The horcrux isn't something it looks like she can change, and she doesn't want to admit that just yet. There has to be a way to deal with it, not just in the offchance it might harm him or someone else later.
If only so that Harry doesn't have to live with that inside of him anymore. "Goodness, I'm still able to recall how it felt, being sent on my way. I was furious and found it all absurd, truth be told." She was also near tears, but that's when she saw Harry. "I couldn't believe I just stood there. I was so relieved to see you."
She knew then that it would be okay, somehow. She doesn't let herself voice her own ifs... "I'm sorry, Harry," she says, wincing inwardly, as she's sure that's not what he wants to hear but she is. Sorry he had to reveal things about him twicefold to everyone that cared to read.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-29 01:42 am (UTC)It's who she is, and he wouldn't want her to change, but he-- he doesn't want to add to it either, no matter what he may be feeling. He would prefer it if she could have a break from it, focus on the school that's coming up especially if there isn't anything that can be done.
If it's to just remain within him, Harry doesn't want her to have that rest upon her as well though he understands it's helpless. It's nothing she can really control, and he worries about her when it comes to things that can't be helped as well.
Harry glances at her and smiles a bit. "I remember you walking in, and I... honestly thought that I'd begun to hallucinate," he says with a small laugh, and he's joking about it now but he did think it for a moment. He thought he'd finally lost his mind at that point. Harry'd been looking for her everywhere and there she was. "I was relieved to see you too, relieved I saw you so soon after you fell through."
It's nearly been a year now. Hard to imagine. Harry glances at her, and he shakes his head. "Don't be, Hermione. Please," he says though he understands that's nothing she can help either. It still hurts, and he doesn't know why it does.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-29 03:35 am (UTC)There are more important things, and it comes with caring and being best friends. It's nothing she'd want him to feel badly about, but this is Harry, and he does have a habit of taking things on as his own fault regardless of whether they are or they are not. It still makes her sigh a bit, and she sets her hands against the railing, glancing back at him.
A smile of her own tugs at the corners of her lips, much as it hurts to think of that time he spent completely on his own. "I could hardly believe it myself. The thought of being in America seemed absurd enough. Falling through a tear in the fabric of time itself? Unthinkable. The city itself is big," she says, that thoughtful note still in her voice. So big and seemingly endless for a Wanderer, and that's the first place she was taken to.
What a curious thing it is, and a fortunate one, too.
Hermione keeps her gaze on him, and doesn't remove it until he shakes his head. "All right," she says, quietly, because he asks, as if it's that simple. "It may be difficult, but... do try not to linger on it, Harry. This will pass soon enough. It will."
no subject
Date: 2011-08-29 04:40 am (UTC)Her best friends come first more than anyone else, and she will always worry about him because it is who she is. Like he will always take guilt on that doesn't exactly belong to him, because it's who he is as well. He feels guilt for quite a lot, for the many people that have died around him and more.
"The chances of it are so impossible that you would have fallen through into this city, fallen through... and then found by someone that goes to the Tower," harry says quietly and he hates thinking of the alternative, but the alternative could have happened just as easily. "I hear quite a few wanderers never make it here."
It's painful but it would be impossible to find them all, to let them know of this place. There are many who don't believe it and try to find their own way only to find something much worse instead.
As if it's that simple. Harry lower his gaze, looking down at the city. He swallows and glances over at her. "I will try, Hermione. I've never been exactly good at that." He may have been afraid of her obsessing, but he does plenty of it himself sometimes. "It'll help to be going to school, have something else to think about."
Maybe. More likely he'll fall asleep in class.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-29 09:45 pm (UTC)The treatment of elves back in their home world is what set off what is the political activist within her. She has a hard time--an impossible time of it, really--witnessing injustice and not doing something about it. Wanderers and their lot in life would fall into that category in an extreme way.
"It's awful, how easily one may lose their way here," Hermione says quietly. There is always in her that urge to act, to do, to think. To change things she believes need change. "I've heard something similar myself. There aren't many places Wanderers can find refuge in, and the treatment of them by many is... unspeakable, to say the least."
"It's only a little over a week away," she says with a bit of a smile. Hermione is obviously more excited at the prospect of going to school that Harry is, but she is certain in the fact it will be a good distraction, in one way or another. It'll give them something to work towards, and it'll make everything seem a less aimless. They shouldn't lose sight of it, despite finding themselves in a very different world.
Hermione has a feeling what she's about to say might distract him effectively from tonight's events. "I've begun to succeed. In my attempts to decode the book we found in Matilda's tomb," Hermione says.
If that doesn't give him something else to think about, she doesn't know what would work.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 03:08 am (UTC)It's true, and she was at the other end of it a lot because of the nature of her birth. It was really rather ridiculous in his opinion, but Voldemort fought a whole campaign against it, the purity of blood.
"It is. It's terrible, and I'm grateful that neither of us ended up in one of those places," Harry says, and he knows there is that chance. They could insist that it is a dream and try to leave with nowhere to go. "I believe the Tower is one of the few in the city. Before that, it was the hotel that collapsed."
He was there for that, but thankfully outside fighting monsters along the way.
Harry lets out a breath. "Oi, that's right, and we've still got to buy supplies, haven't we? I can't even remember what we'd need if we're not looking for cauldrons and owls," he says with a bit of a smile of his own. School supply shopping will be vastly different here but not necessarily bad either.
Hermione's feeling (as she so frequently is) is absolutely right. Harry turns to look directly at her. "You have? I'm not at all surprised actually... I'd nearly forgotten about that since going to help them with the watch," he admits almost sheepishly, and with everything else going on, it hadn't occurred to him. "Have you found anything specific so far?"
no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 05:08 am (UTC)For all intents and purposes, it shouldn't have hurt, particularly not when it came from someone as foul-mouthed as Draco Malfoy, but it did. It stung, a reminder there were people out there who didn't know her, and already thought her as less. It only increases her determination to prove herself and to be the best she possibly can be, on any subject.
"I am, as well," she says with a sigh. "I only wish there was something to be done. Against those awful people." CLF, anti-Wanderer sentiments spread throughout the city. "It's difficult when they go eerily quiet after they've decided to strike against us."
They change headquarters so often it would be hard to pinpoint it down.
"It's a good thing I've a list for both of us and the supplies we'll need," Hermione says, not without a bit of reproach despite that smile of his. Oh, Harry. This is important! Hermione has no doubt that if she hadn't been on top of it, he'd have gone to his first day without even a notebook to write anything down on.
"I'll admit I'd set it aside myself to focus on the more pertinent matters at hand," she says, but the book was always just there, and Hermione does so love solving puzzles. She sighs a bit and looks over at him. "It all seems increasingly more complicated than we once thought. She was hiding, Matilda. From a powerful society in the late 1400s."
no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 05:34 am (UTC)He remembers it filling him with rage though he had only really begun to understand that part of their world and what it could mean. Harry hadn't realized until later, and then it'd made him rage further. They have that problem here. They're all thought of as less by a good portion of those who know that they exist. They'll fight together.
"I wish the same, but it's only a matter of time before we can find a way to fight back against them, figure out where they are," he says quietly, adjusting his glasses. "We'll fight against them like we did with the Death Eaters. They won't win."
He is sure of this. He will make it so.
...Harry pauses a moment before he laughs at what Hermione says about the lists. "I am not at all surprised. Honestly, I don't know why I didn't think you'd have lists earlier." He would have gone to school without anything at all, and it would have been a little hilarious.
"There's been quite a bit going on, can't really blame you for doing that," Harry says, looking over at her, but he knows. He knows she loves solving puzzles, mysteries. It'd just slip his mind totally. "That is complicated. So in theory, it would make sense that the clue that we got, it has something to do with the fact that she was hiding from this society."
no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 06:42 am (UTC)These people, a great deal of them, can immediately tell they're Wanderers, which puts them at a disadvantage. They also do not discriminate when it comes to sending a message, and while Hermione was been present for many of these messages, she was there for one of them and that was more than enough. They take the violence here to a completely new level and she is determined to fight alongside them.
"My concern is what could happen the next time we hear from them," she confesses. They only seem to reappear and do so with a bang, so to speak. She doesn't want any more wanderers to suffer at their hands for that to happen, she she also has to be realistic.
Hermione nods, reassured by his own determination.
"Honestly, I've no idea why you didn't, either," she says, allowing a bit of a smile despite the earlier bristling because honestly, Harry. School is not a laughing matter. "Were you planning on attending without any sort of materials?"
It's a good thing she's here, since she's dragging him to a Target or something.
"She made it seem like this society was the power behind many thrones. Her attempt to cast them in their true light met with her early death. Having sensed it, she left clues for her fellow witches to find, but..." her voice trails off. It's possible they got to them, too.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 07:02 am (UTC)It helps so much to have others fighting at your side, fighting with you.
"That... would be a concern, yeah. They'll likely show up again with something more violent than the last time even," Harry says softly, and he shakes his head. He doesn't like to think about it too much, because it's... the last time was terrible.
So was every time before that. The next time will be terrible too. Will they recognize the next victim? Will one of them be the next victim? It worries him.
"Likely cause I really never think ahead especially when it comes to this?" Harry fills in though she already knew the answer to that question. Ahem. "I... didn't really know what was needed. It isn't as if we've received a list of required supplies. I thought maybe they handed it to you on the first day!"
It is a very good thing even if LOL Harry and Hermione in a Target. >> That is another thing to thread out at some point. /just imagining them walking up and down the shiny halls.
"That makes them more powerful. The fact that they're a power behind thrones instead of out there, taking the risks themselves," Harry says, and he is good at figuring out what the Bad Guy may be thinking. Thanks, Voldy. Even if he's not so much with the logic, he can figure that out. "But we don't know if the clues haven't already been found or not," he fills in for her. "Other than the one that we have."
no subject
Date: 2011-08-31 01:26 am (UTC)It isn't in them to give up, and it's a trait that many of them seem to share.
As a community, they are much stronger than perhaps even they themselves realize.
"It's vital we are prepared to the best of our abilities for it," Hermione says. She'd heard there had been an army of sorts, training to learn to defend themselves, and there are also the magical wards she put in place, though it couldn't hurt to put up some more, as it does seem to be protecting. The problem is when they're out on the streets, as is their right. "It's unsettling, their being able to tell who we are when we aren't allowed to reciprocate in kind."
There's no way of knowing unless their wings are out.
"Harry!" Hermione says, and if she had a book, it's about now she'd be thwapping him. "Obviously, you will be given a list of required supplies and reading material. It doesn't mean you should not be prepared with the absolute essentials."
The two of them there would be hilarious, and it will totally be threaded out. :3
"We've no way of knowing," Hermione agrees, grateful Harry already knew where she was going with it. "There are far too many loose ends on this, I'm afraid. I don't want to abandon it, either. It seemed so important to her, didn't it? Perhaps we did stumble upon her for a reason."
no subject
Date: 2011-08-31 04:50 am (UTC)They are people who believe that wanderers should not exist in this world simply because they are wanderers from other universes.
However, they do have abilities of their own. If they can figure out how to work together to use these abilities the best that they can, they may be able to make progress and fight back. They have angels and demons on their side as well.
Most of these wanderers are willing to fight even though they shouldn't have to.
"Yeah, it is. We will be. We'll help Luna prepare, hone our magic skills along with her," Harry says. It'll be like what they did with the Dumbledore's Army, but he knows there are less who know how to use magic here. "I wouldn't know how to help with the other fighting, but there are people who can do that as well. Yeah, it is unfair and well, they can tell who all wanderers are and strike against them, but not all demons are against us."
There's a certain group of them that have gathered together in the CLF along with whoever else supports them, but... it's not all of them even if they can tell the difference.
Harry flinches as if he is expecting it and then he remembers that she has no book in her hand. A small smile crosses his face at the realization. It's nearly triumphant. "Alright, I... realize that. We'll go shopping then this week to be certain that we get everything we need."
YAY. The narration cannot wait, okay? :33333 Harry and Hermione in Target. Ah.
"It seemed very important, and we promised we'd help even before I exactly knew what we were promising," he says, clearing his throat but he'd wanted to find whatever was waiting for them at whatever cost. Which was clear by his drinking the fountain without really thinking about it. "I wouldn't want to abandon it either. Maybe as you dig further into it, you'll find out more or we'll figure out how we could find the rest of it. You don't think that organization would still be around at this point, do you? I mean if that's why all the clues are in place to begin with, it might be that no one's found this yet so no one's been there to oppose them."
no subject
Date: 2011-08-31 09:32 pm (UTC)She shouldn't have to, and well. There will also be muggle school and Luna is not as familiar with the muggle world as Harry and Hermione, so she might also need assistance in that aspect, as well.
There are many ways to work together, in small ways and in big ways.
It is a comfort that they can band together. It is a comfort they have each other through these times. It always has been.
"It might be the most important part of it, Harry. There are things, important things we can teach them and also something we can learn," Hermione points out to him. It doesn't have to be them teaching all the time. There might be things other wanderers know that could help that they don't know and wouldn't know how to achieve on their own.
"We certainly will," Hermione says, in that bossy tone of hers. Her eyes narrow slightly at that small smile, but she says nothing. She will be making sure they have all their supplies before the week is over. Hmph.
LMFAO, the narration cannot wait, either. :3333
"It's entirely possible," Hermione says of the organization still being around, though she seems a bit hesitant about it all. It's difficult to say for certain, when there are so many missing pieces of the puzzle, but they've already taken the first steps. "It would be the most pressing reason to solve the matter she clearly left unfinished. We'll figure it out, Harry."
Hermione has no doubts about that.
They'll figure it out, the way they always have. Together.